you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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