Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize