so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
