Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
