Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize