I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
