We won't sleep together?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
