Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
