Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why is there bacon in the couch?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
