My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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