nut hugger
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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