You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
