I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
