i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
