right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
