I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
