I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
