You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
