i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
