our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
