this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
