We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We need to get me chipped asap
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