Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize