it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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