census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
