Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
