I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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