Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
