Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
