her vagine was all disorganized.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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