We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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