I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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