Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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