He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
