Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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