You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
