true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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