i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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