I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
