i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
