Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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