are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
