i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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