Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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