I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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