Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
