so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
