I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
