Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
