also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
