Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize