i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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