I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
