we made out on top of his cat.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
