just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
