I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Maybe he injected his testicle?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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