my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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