his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
