no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You just made me feel so damn special
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You are the jesus of drinking
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize