Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
