He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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