Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
