She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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